Morning Prayer

God awakened me this morning with an excited urgency to enter into His word. The house was quiet and still and seemed to encompass everything I felt my soul needed to recover from a stressful week at work. I was very aware that despite my sense of personal victory in being at the kitchen table with my Bible open at 8 o'clock my heart was unfocused and a prayer of surrender followed....

It's almost amusing that even with the best of intentions I often find myself losing sight of the fact that this life is not my own. It's not about what I make it that brings me lasting joy, but living out the purpose that God has for me. Even when good desires direct my actions and emotions they still may disappoint and leave me feeling empty. I came across Psalm 37:4-7:

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your ways to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this; He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noon day sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him."

I've read this passage many times, but it seemed to present me with a new challenge today. It was as if in that moment God was saying to me:

Kristine, don't delight yourself in me because you feel your desires are not being fulfilled. Delight yourself in me because that is a natural expression of our relationship. When you do this you will discover genuine desires that I created you with, and that I will give you as you follow me in this life. Do not mistake desires of the flesh for desires of the heart. Those I make no promise to grant. In fact, I do my best to protect you from them because so often they leave you disappointed and diminish your trust in me. Stop trying to anticipate my blessing and let me surprise you with the unfolding of my beautiful timing. Wait in joy. I am with you and if your spirit is open to my generosity you will find my abundance in the present.