The calm after the storm

It’s the calm after the storm. Yes – I meant to say after. I’ve been in the storm for awhile now. Today’s a rare day as the rain has let up to a drizzle, and the ominous grey clouds have finally relented to share space with the blue sky. So while conditions don’t promise full relief for the discouraged heart they do offer renewed peace.

It has been nearly four months since I have worked, and let me tell you, the process has left me jaded and questioning. I went from concerned but hopeful to disillusioned and confused. The latter has been my heart’s home for awhile, and the cause of many tears.

Since this blog has fallen from my priority list I will attempt to give a summary of the recent happenings in my life. Right before Christmas I moved back home hoping that it would be a temporary arrangement. While being home brought the comfort of having my family near and the blessing of time with them, it was also marked by loneliness and frustration. Two weeks after I had returned home I got several phone calls about interviews in the Portland area. I came back to the area enthused, but my optimism was soon thwarted as I encountered one stressful situation after the next.

While good things have come out of my time here, a temp job and several interviews still in progress, it has been difficult not having a home base or a known timeline to plan by. Friends have been occupied and/or limited by their own lives and circumstances (which is understandable), which has left me to hash out details for a place to stay and transportation multiple times. The inconsistency of this routine has left me with an unsettled spirit.

So now you may be wondering why at the beginning of this post I claimed that it was the calm after the storm. My life still appears to be in torrential downpour mode, right? Well, as l became increasingly more overwhelmed with my situation I began to be vulnerable with others about my absolute need for prayer as I felt my heart sinking into a stubborn depression. Most of that dialogue took place yesterday, and today God’s has been faithful to respond to the prayers of my loved ones. The difference between today and yesterday - undeniable. I am baffled at the fact that I suddenly feel at peace despite little change in circumstances, and am quite amazed at God’s swift action on my behalf.