A lesson in faith

I have found that my favorite friend to talk to as of late is God. I know that may sound strange, but all of a sudden it seems that I can't share most of my thoughts and feelings with the people around me but my conversations with God are more real and meaningful then they have ever been. Usually I work in the reverse.

At night I snuggle into bed and just talk through everything that is racing through my mind, which has been a rather lengthy list lately. And truly I gain a sense of being comforted by God and my mind and heart are more at peace for having shared with Him that which He already knows. When I'm lonely or struggling I feel His loving arms wrapped around me and hope can't help but spring up inside of me.

I feel so undeserving of this intimacy that I share with my Lord. At the beginning of this summer I intended to pursue God with more vigor and passion, but really, thus far I can only view myself as being a huge disappointment. I have more time and more energy to give to Him, but usually I am more generous to the computer, or movies, or being with friends....But at the same time I feel like He has taught me the value of honoring Him by showing His truth to others in action, that being with Him doesn't necessarily have to include a Bible or worship music. For example, when someone really just needs talk, taking the time to fully listen and support them can be just as good of a use of my time as praying.

My attitude is one of anticipation, I am quite excited for the possibilites for growth in my faith in the months of ahead. If God can do so much in my heart when I am only giving Him 50%, how much more could happen when I finally give Him my all. I certainly don't plan on staying where I'm at. My desire to seek God and know Him more is very strong within me, it feels more like an emotion because of its force. I can recognize it, the sensation is almost overwhelming.

A different kind of summer...

It is hard to believe that one month of summer has already passed by....Oregon weather doesn't even let on that it is summer yet, but as a friend gently reminded me today it is actually still spring. I don't mind the clouds and rain too much, but I do love it when the sun comes out.

Generally speaking life here is calm and simple and I am very much enjoying it. I live in an on-campus apartment with two of my good friends, Angie and Meghan. We work well together because we love being goofy, and we look out for each other. We are all addicted to cookies, redbox movie rentals, and vintage dresses. Our apartment has felt like home since the very beginning and that has been comforting since I won't get to spend much time at home this summer.

My job situation has also worked out really well. I am working in the marketing and communications office on campus which is wonderful real life experience that relates to my major. It has been a blessing in many ways. I have never worked in such a positive working environment where I am a part of a community and am encouraged to grow in my skills. It has also been a great venue for networking with organizations that I am interested in working for after I graduate.

Sometimes it all seems unreal, my summer that is....I am working full-time (and I've had the job since the first day of vacation), I live with great friends and a wonderful community of college students that are a great support, I'm plugged into a church, and I have lots of time and space to think and grow. I've never had a summer like this before. The last two summers were huge challenges for me so to have something that is easy and simple and good has been completely refreshing.

Anyway all that said I don't have any big news, no huge revelations or epiphanies....not yet :) But I do feel that God has something planned for this summer. I won't try to guess what because that always seems to get me nowhere fast, but I am expecting a surprise. There will definitely be some heart renovation.