A lesson in faith

I have found that my favorite friend to talk to as of late is God. I know that may sound strange, but all of a sudden it seems that I can't share most of my thoughts and feelings with the people around me but my conversations with God are more real and meaningful then they have ever been. Usually I work in the reverse.

At night I snuggle into bed and just talk through everything that is racing through my mind, which has been a rather lengthy list lately. And truly I gain a sense of being comforted by God and my mind and heart are more at peace for having shared with Him that which He already knows. When I'm lonely or struggling I feel His loving arms wrapped around me and hope can't help but spring up inside of me.

I feel so undeserving of this intimacy that I share with my Lord. At the beginning of this summer I intended to pursue God with more vigor and passion, but really, thus far I can only view myself as being a huge disappointment. I have more time and more energy to give to Him, but usually I am more generous to the computer, or movies, or being with friends....But at the same time I feel like He has taught me the value of honoring Him by showing His truth to others in action, that being with Him doesn't necessarily have to include a Bible or worship music. For example, when someone really just needs talk, taking the time to fully listen and support them can be just as good of a use of my time as praying.

My attitude is one of anticipation, I am quite excited for the possibilites for growth in my faith in the months of ahead. If God can do so much in my heart when I am only giving Him 50%, how much more could happen when I finally give Him my all. I certainly don't plan on staying where I'm at. My desire to seek God and know Him more is very strong within me, it feels more like an emotion because of its force. I can recognize it, the sensation is almost overwhelming.